is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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