you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
