The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
