Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
