ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
