I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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