I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
