this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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