Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
