Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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