So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
