in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
