she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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