haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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