to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
