So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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