he wants to bone in the snuggie
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
and you fell through a lawn chair
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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