May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
