No, drunk sperm still make babies.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
