So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
