i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
