New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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