I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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