You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
