Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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