I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
