When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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