how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I will pee on everything he values.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
