This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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