Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
