We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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