is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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