i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
