normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
