If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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