So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
