Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm passing your future prison.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
