i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
