you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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