That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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