when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
