So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
