4 words: hood of his car
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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