dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
