I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
