You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
