Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
