soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
