i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
