My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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